Pretty Boy!

Guess who is already THREE TIMES HIS BIG SISTER'S BIRTHWEIGHT?  This sweet boy:

(Okay, yes I know he is sideways, but I have to go to a church event now; I'll try to rotate him later.)

Appointment today was great.  Blood pressure was down; I've been instructed to keep doing what I'm doing.  Wohoo!

Bits and Pieces

I feel like there is a lot to update you on, but my mind is not at all organized at the moment...so you'll get bits and pieces.

First off, I am now 17 weeks and 4 days.  17 was a bad, bad week for us in Becca's pregnancy.   In fact, it's the week that they told us she was going to die.  So even though we weren't scheduled for a visit this week, I called the doctor to see if we could come in and get a glimpse to make sure everything looks good.  Fabulous doctor that he is, he worked me in, and we saw him on Wednesday. 

I am beyond thrilled to say that this week 17 is going much, much better than our last one.  The baby is measuring right on target, though the head is a little bigger than the legs (which just makes the baby a Hill - have you met my short genius of a husband?).  At this point, Becca was already 2 and a 1/2 weeks behind.  There was a 4 cm fluid pocket already; when we went for our amnio with Becca in week 18, they couldn't even find a 1 cm pocket and almost weren't able to do the amnio.  Dr. Sizemore said that they could amnio this fluid all day long; I told him that I'd prefer that he not.  The baby was moving - dancing, really, which was adorable.  And we think we saw some bits and pieces...

...as in, little boy bits and pieces!  It's still pretty difficult to tell on the office's super basic ultrasound machine, but we're pretty sure we saw his little penis, and when he started grabbing at it, we decided it was definitely acting male...already sticking his hand down his figurative pants.  But - we're not painting the nursery blue yet or anything (actually, we're not painting the nursery at all because when we moved in and painted we went with a gender-neutral green, smart kids that we are), but the doc is 85% sure it's a boy.  We ought to know for sure at our full anatomy scan (at the high risk doc with the better machine) the Tuesday after Easter. 

So that's that.  I feel so so so much better after this appointment.  Oddly, it's nice to be where things started to go wrong.  I had thought that my anxiety would only increase as we got further along, and I'm sure it will some, but it feels great to be at this point and be reassured that what happened last time is not happening this time.  I'm still at high-risk for complications, and there is still a very good chance that I will develop pre-eclampsia, but whatever happens now, I know we're not experiencing a total repeat of last time with the double whammy of super-severe IUGR AND severe, early-onset pre-eclampsia.  Again, the kiddo could stop growing at any time, and my blood pressure could shoot up, particularly as pre-e is an unpredictable disease, but we are ahead of where we were last time.  Phew.  In CPE terms, I think it's helping me differentiate this pregnancy from my first one.  I really am starting to believe that things might be different this time.  Like I said, it feels good. 

[Sidenote: as I talk about my first pregnancy, I want to be clear that I don't regret a minute of it.  Of course I would have chosen for it to go differently, but in the end, we got the best kid in the world, and I love her just the way she is.  I would do it all over again in a second to have her.  Or to have this itty bitty boy.  But we're open to an easier ride for everyone this time.]

Okay, I got so busy writing about the little boy booger that I forget what the other updates need to be...so...um...don't forget to donate to our March for Babies team and/or order your t-shirts (I'm sending in our order on Monday!)...and if you want to buy some Usborne books AND save some babies at the same time, shop at www.myubam.com/HOS216155.  I'm giving my entire commission on purchases made through this link to our March for Babies team.  And I haven't forgotten about the second Disney post.  It will come.  Eventually.  :)

Oh, and some adorable Becca sayings as of late:

• I'm da wine weader!  (while running to get in front of everybody)
• Her name for the baby: Kolkai Booger
• I'm Madewine!  I'm Madewine!  I'm tall!
• Actuawawy... (translation: actually)
• I want to go on adbentures!  Yet's go on [pauses while she counts her fingers and raises them] five adbentures!  (Adventures = errands or anything else we can come up with to do away from home or church)
• Awl da something or other (As in, who was your favorite character at Disney?  "Awl da charawcters!"  Who do you want to invite to your birthday party?  "Awl my fwiends!"
• I will give you a kiss to feel you better, Mommy.  (and)  I'm sorry you're sick, Mommy.  (and) I'm gwad you're better, Mommy. 

Okay, that's all the randomness I can reign in at the moment.

My Crazy-Awesome Kid

I'm been really discouraged lately, thinking about how much "catching up" Becca still has to do, even though we've hit the magic age by which all symptoms of prematurity should have magically disappeared. (That's the age of 3, mind you, and the general thinking is that preemies, if they are going to catch up developmentally, do it by age 2, though we give micropreemies like Becca another year because of the additional challenges they face.) I won't get into all the reasons I've been discouraged, but they are there, they are real, and I've got to own up to it. But then this evening, I was typing up a quick summary of the issues Becca and I faced in my pregnancy and the rocky road she had in the NICU, and I'm once again reminded that everything she does is a miracle. (And someday I really am going to write that post about my theological understanding of miracles, so for now please don't overanalyze my use of the term.) The lists are written for other preemie mamas, so some of you may not understand all of the terms, but don't worry about that. Here they are:

Pregnancy: 27.6 weeks, severe IUGR (370 grams), fatal prognosis @ 17 weeks, 1 week hospital bedrest, emergency c-section. Prematurity due to pre-e, HELLP, IUGR, Fetal Distress (including severe heart decelerations) and Reversed Blood Flow. In other words, my pregnancy was a clusterf&*^. But I have a cute kid now!

Becca: 27.6 weeks (I tend to think of her as a 28-weeker) - very severe IUGR, anemia, mild CLD, osteopenia (multiple fractures), jaundice (& hyperbilirubemia), transfusions (26), multiple infections, pulmonary hypertension, hypothyroidism, septo-optic dysplaysia, silent aspiration, double inguinal hernias (repaired surgically), feeding difficulties, FTT, g-tube (at age 2), multiple failed hearing tests (functionally deaf for 8 months, corrected with tubes), adenoids out, plagiocephaly and helmet therapy, severe sensory processing disorder resulting in feeding problems and g-tube dependence, gross and fine motor delays, growth hormone injections. 123 day NICU stay, 20 days inpatient since NICU discharge.


So, yeah, if you didn't know Becca and just read this list, there's no way that you'd guess that she took 4 ballet classes this week AND peed in the potty twice. That's my daughter.

Off the Charts...

...is where we usually fall.  But check this out:

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in her life, Itty Bitty Becca is ON THE GROWTH CHART FOR HEIGHT!*  6th percentile!  Wohoo!  That means that she's taller than 5% of other kids her actual age!  Now - this measurement was taken at her weigh in last Wednesday, and you've heard me talk about how these measurements are not exactly scientific.  This particular measurement had Becca growing an inch in a week, so it's probably a generous measurement, but, still she's been trending upward relatively sharply lately, so even if she drops off the chart this week, I expect she'll be back on it soon.  


Seriously, y'all, this is crazy awesome.  When I say this is the first time she's been on the chart in her life, I mean LIFE in the most pro-lifer sense you can imagine.  Her very first measurements were taken at 8 weeks gestation.  She was a little smaller than expected then, so they adjusted my due date to 4 days later, even though I can still tell you to the hour the day that she was conceived.  (Don't worry; I won't.)  So she was essentially 4 days too short then.  (Normally, I wouldn't think of an ultrasound that early being behind, but since a few weeks later she was significantly behind, I think (in retrospect) we were seeing her poor growth pattern that early.)  At 17 weeks, she was a full 2 weeks behind.  When she was born at 28 weeks, she was 9-10 weeks behind on length (and slightly less behind on weight and even slightly-er less behind on head circumference).  


And of course, since she formally became a baby, she's been off the charts.  Literally.  As in, if you tried to plot her height and weight (particularly height) on a standard growth chart (or on one for preemies that has the 3rd percentile line marked), there are not lines on the graph on which to put her dot.  (And I don't mean the growth curve line.  I'm talking about the actual grid.)  


But here she is, standing tall at 34 inches and ruling the 6th percentile!  Take that, IUGR!  And big thanks to you, growth hormone "pokes"!  Her weight is still waaaaay down there (note in the photo that it says "< 3rd percentile" - that's the lowest interpretation they put there - so it doesn't mean that she's in the 2nd percentile or anything).  She's in 9-12 month clothes on weight but 2T in height, and that does make finding clothes for her challenging, but heaven knows I've managed to assemble a wardrobe with 1 or 2 things in it for her.  :)  But still...


Watch out, world.  Becca Hill just may hit 5 feet yet!




*She's been tracking in the very low percentiles for head circumference for a while now - that's the asymmetrical part of her asymmetrical intrauterine growth restriction.