tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4257520128919589103.post4921842111034849366..comments2023-10-16T05:11:42.590-05:00Comments on Itty Bitty Hill: On [Not] Being NormalSpeasHillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06024209825346502037noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4257520128919589103.post-11193131537774780052010-03-08T18:22:05.295-06:002010-03-08T18:22:05.295-06:00I'm a grandmother of a tiny baby and he and hi...I'm a grandmother of a tiny baby and he and his mother are going through everything you documented, the eating issues, the numerous appointments, the therapies. Celebrate every milestone. My hat's off to you and all that you are handling. There are others who understand.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4257520128919589103.post-84314315509188012052010-03-03T20:40:28.281-06:002010-03-03T20:40:28.281-06:00I agree; motherhood is HARD, no matter what your c...I agree; motherhood is HARD, no matter what your circumstances! And everyone ought to have the space to celebrate their kids in whatever way is appropriate for them. And you're right, nobody every truly know what another person experiences. I try to be a good friend and celebrate milestones, pregnancies, etc with friends, even on those occasions that the celebration reminds me of my own pain. But I love their kids, too, and am excited for them! And the good friends celebrate back...even if they don't *truly* understand why I'm so excited.SpeasHillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06024209825346502037noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4257520128919589103.post-77414594883111274192010-03-03T14:53:02.423-06:002010-03-03T14:53:02.423-06:00I am the mom of two healthy "normal" chi...I am the mom of two healthy "normal" children.<br /><br />While some mom's may be trying to downplay what you go through I think most are just trying to say something nice to lighten things and not make you the one that is different from everyone else. In their own way they are probably trying to be inclusive.<br /><br />Since growing older and having kids I've had friends who have adopted, who have kids with autism and who have a child with special needs due to developmental problems. <br /><br />The one thing I've noticed is that moms tend to group together with other moms who have similar children and challenges. Not because they don't care about other or think they are better, but because it's easier to understand and relate to someone else who knows what you're special journey is like. <br /><br />The other thing I want to say is probably not going to be taken well, but I know that at times my friends with kids who have special needs seem to downplay my experiences as a mom with a "normal" child.<br /><br />Yes, I didn't have to worry through pregnancy or wait on placement. I don't have appointments to endless therapies or fights with insurance, but that doesn't mean that everything in my experience as a mom or with my kids is easy. It doesn't mean that I can't be frustrated or tired or have days when I need sympathy. And on the other hand it doesn't mean that the accomplishments I want to celebrate of my kids aren't just as amazing as the ones of the kid that struggles harder to get there.<br /><br />But, without meaning to, I've often had moms of special needs kids downplay all of that because my children are "normal" <br /><br />I am not saying that there isn't a very big difference. I can't imagine the many things that parents of kids with varying needs go through. <br />But honestly no one can understand what someone else goes through.<br /><br />I just want to offer some perspective.<br /><br />-AAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4257520128919589103.post-83948387762093919352010-02-20T02:15:03.247-06:002010-02-20T02:15:03.247-06:00Great post!! It got me thinking about what I'v...Great post!! It got me thinking about what I've been feeling lately. I dont expect ppl to understand what the life for a micropreemie/preemie or their parents is really like... but what I cant stand is those who cant accept reality. When you discuss the severity of the situation and they respond "everything will be fine" or "she'll outgrow it" all the time. Im sorry ppl but not always do we get the fairy tale ending and thats ok.Melhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12562017859724931778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4257520128919589103.post-30993619093690592862010-02-19T20:08:20.719-06:002010-02-19T20:08:20.719-06:00I think we all had the same DARE officer and this ...I think we all had the same DARE officer and this may be a reason that he was gone after my fifth grade year ;)<br /><br />I enjoyed this post, Nancy. I admittedly get annoyed when other moms don't understand the precautions we have to take due to the kids' asthma, so I can HARDLY imagine the feelings you have. So thank you for sharing.Kristenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04088387568349543226noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4257520128919589103.post-73244608908090290832010-02-19T16:16:59.923-06:002010-02-19T16:16:59.923-06:00Okay, so the DARE officer at my school told me I w...Okay, so the DARE officer at my school told me I was in danger of being a drug addict become I had low self-esteem. Or at least that's how my 10-year-old self heard it. That really helped my self-esteem, too. :-)Christy Nicholsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10041794792217267880noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4257520128919589103.post-87450211693931016042010-02-18T22:47:29.603-06:002010-02-18T22:47:29.603-06:00Breaking 5' is overrated. Love you--thanks for...Breaking 5' is overrated. Love you--thanks for sharing.Cincinnataliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09134400684333456859noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4257520128919589103.post-62360986952927530562010-02-18T21:18:29.136-06:002010-02-18T21:18:29.136-06:00Beth Dixon tuned me into your blog a long time ago...Beth Dixon tuned me into your blog a long time ago, but I've just been a lurker until now. <br />The only thing I can think, and hope, is that maybe people say this in a weird attempt to make you feel not so alone or overwhelmed. To make Becca "fit in" with kids who have not had such challenges. (This makes sense the way I'm thinking it, but I know my words are not conveying well.)<br />My 3 kids are all "normal," and I am thankful, but I think everyone is entitled to their gripes. Especially moms who have gone through and continue to go through experiences like yours.CARRIEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13137602199313584768noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4257520128919589103.post-23392229441735815392010-02-18T18:09:17.427-06:002010-02-18T18:09:17.427-06:00You know what's funny, though? To us this IS n...You know what's funny, though? To us this IS normal. I think it's all those other kids and families that are out there that are strange. Taking a baby to the supermarket during flu season??? Now THAT'S crazy!:)<br /><br />I think what frustrates me the most... Okay, wait, the two things that frustrate me the most are <br /><br />A.) Pity, simply because just because my kid is different doesn't make him worthy of pity... But also, <br /><br />B.) The fact that we aren't supposed to complain about our children. Do you ever sit in a group of mothers like the group you went out with the other day, and they're all complaining about tantrums and food preferences and allergies and general mischeviousness, and then you complain about how your special needs child does x, y, or z, and then they tell you that you should just be thankful they're alive. <br /><br />REALLY?!?<br /><br />Oh, that's right, because the other mothers have nothing at all to be thankful for.<br /><br />Crazy!Only the Sheppardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12746320655851190325noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4257520128919589103.post-5918912214117243452010-02-18T15:30:14.947-06:002010-02-18T15:30:14.947-06:00Jessica - I just sent you a facebook message with ...Jessica - I just sent you a facebook message with details. In general, though, you can either order directly from the site or e-mail me at ittybittybooks@yahoo.com. Thanks!SpeasHillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06024209825346502037noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4257520128919589103.post-61146231232051250912010-02-18T10:43:18.579-06:002010-02-18T10:43:18.579-06:00Thank you for this glimpse into what your not-norm...Thank you for this glimpse into what your not-normal life is like! I can't imagine.<br /><br />Regarding books: Kate loves the touchy-feely books we got her (Monster and Kitten) and I'd like to get Bunny for Easter and a few other things. Should I e-mail you or order off your website?Jessica Miller Kelleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11407283047174143978noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4257520128919589103.post-39455763488453330202010-02-18T09:07:05.601-06:002010-02-18T09:07:05.601-06:00I agree with Kelly's saying that you're su...I agree with Kelly's saying that you're surviving because you're Nancy. When I think back to the Summer of 1997 and Governor's School, I remember quite a few people. Who have I always remembered the most and the most about? Nancy Speas. Nancy who was from Brentwood and played the tuba and whose phone number was all in the corners and who treated my six-year-old niece who came to visit like she was a princess and talked to me even though I was a hick from a hick town and didn't know anybody or anything about anything, and...and...and.... <br /><br />I can imagine wanting to be normal now and making things as easy for Becca as they possibly could be. But who else on this planet could do what you're doing? Nobody. Nobody because only Nancy Speas Hill could be so unique as to rise to this particular set of challenges. And only Nancy could be so handle anything so UN-normal. Loves and hugs, chick. Seriously. Loves and hugs.Valeriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09807404107561910704noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4257520128919589103.post-56790382851250995522010-02-18T08:37:23.380-06:002010-02-18T08:37:23.380-06:00VERY well said. I'm so sorry for the insensit...VERY well said. I'm so sorry for the insensitivity in your world. As a mother of a normal child (she's as textbook as they get) and the challenges that come with normal children - I truly can not fathom how you do what you do. I've actually said it out loud to Sarah - "How is she doing it?" Sarah says you're surviving because you're Nancy. :)Kelly Bourquehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13928893788545869417noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4257520128919589103.post-71639854713645019302010-02-18T07:18:39.386-06:002010-02-18T07:18:39.386-06:00Very well said. I have tried endlessly to explain ...Very well said. I have tried endlessly to explain to family and friends why parents on the SS Prematurity are different and how we have been changed forever to our very core because of the challenges we and our children face and will continue to face. I posted about it a while ago at in December of 2008 under the title "Why Are We Different Than Other Parents." My conclusion is that are very, very different because we spent weeks and months wondering if our children would survive to the next day. <br /><br />Eliza has been to over 4,000 hours of therapy and has had to work to achieve every milestone (even the "easy" ones). I realize that this hard for "normal" parents of "normal" kids to wrap their minds around, but the answer is not for them to act like our childrens' achievements are trite or to minimize our concerns.<br /><br />What they don't realize perhaps is that you and I would be reduced to tears if our kids ate a crappy, Happy Meal.<br /><br />You're not whining, you're being honest. Honest is a good thing.Annehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07192126503448477083noreply@blogger.com